I know people for whom pets are their beloved children. I find it a little odd. I shall not tell a lie.
I’ve witnessed haughty middle-agers sail through rooms, all pride and hubris to lick-kiss bemused blank faced arse-eating animals.
I have heard words used like child and baby and I cringe for both parties.
If the animal could understand, I wonder if it would think…steady on, let’s not get ahead of ourselves – I want to travel…. I’m 53!
…your top lip does smell of beef though…would you mind if i just?…waste not want not….
I love being around Animals. They make me happy. Ding arches his brow when I say for the umpteenth time as a cat passes, Isn’t it amazing how a completely different species accepts our presence in its space.
I like them – but I never think that They are We.
Yeah? big deal. We do. Deal with it.
This morning I had the telly on in the background as I was getting Finny ready for school.
Yes! … Says a Dog mother....he’s unfit because he does like his food….curry, fish and chips…ice-cream…he’s gotta cut back..
I look down at my dear old labrador who smells so bad I am loathe to invite in casual callers.
I pictured myself doing the same interview….Tilly?…Oh she doesn’t know she’s a dog…ooh yes, she’s a bit unfit…she needs to cut down…her favourites?…Erm?…meat, fish, cat food, bread for the birds, dirty dishwasher when she can get it…all kinds of food really..
…road-kill, chicken-shit, cat regurgitation…dirt..wood that looks like chicken-shit and do you know?.. when she walks in on someone on the toilet, you could almost hear her saying to you “well, if you’re throwing that away..” …she do like to eat.
We don’t kiss.